Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Randomize
