all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
