Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
What drink are we having for lunch?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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