Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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