dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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