when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
