1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize