i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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