i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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