after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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