forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
wow bdsm is so cute
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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