I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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