Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
