i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
