I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize