I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize