So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
