is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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