I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
