either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
