White coat. Heels.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
