After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
