Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Never underestimate the power of titties
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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