How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
