I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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