im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
