that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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