oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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