You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
