you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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