She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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