I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
