Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
