when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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