this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
