Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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