dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
