Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
