If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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