Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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