This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
