We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
