this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
