I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
