dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
