It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
there was a trapeze. enough said
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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