It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
