I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize