She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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