I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
