4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
