scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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