why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize