You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
