She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
