when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
