Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
