Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
