My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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