shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize