I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
