do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize