we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
