i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
