Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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