having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
