dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
