Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
