Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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