end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
