He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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