First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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