i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
